cookless karma

Some say cooking is an art. I agree;
as long as someone does it for me, that is.

There was a certain time, when I was about to embark upon lets just say an unusual journey, where relying on my own abilities was to be of utmost importance. I had managed to learn the ancient art of creating nearly edible common indian staple food including rotis with imperfect circumference and messed up salt ratios.

Surely being 'the male' I'd be easily exempted from it?
turns out it somehow boosts your metrosexuality, apparently.

Anyway, three years went by and not practicing enough led me to forget it. The time had come for me to to add some garam masala to my unused competencies yet again.

"Sanjeev Kapoor will worship me by christmas," I bragged on for a month. Unfortunately for me, like the government's promises, it um didn't quite happen. It wasn't long before hunger led desperation started to kick in. By then, I knew how to make a half-decent sandwich. and an omelette. and maggi
Getting bored of the same old crushing white balls and playing around with bread, I started going out. Met new people, made new friends—meet Mr. Food. Junk Food. Mrs. Frozen said hi.

Immediate ancestors have had a history of blending the symphony of spices just right; Mother says I should have it in my blood. But then, she was a topper unlike the relatively average scorer yours truly is.

Some have suggested I should try and combine my passions.
Or maybe I should blog about it.. you know, with pictures and all.

As for now, lets just put it this way—cooking to me is what a good hairstyle to Himesh Reshammiya is.

Update: Man I love coincidences. The DailyMail reported yesterday a rise of the 'gastrosexual' as more men are taking up cooking to seduce women.

As much as I'd love to seduce her with my spices, being branded a 'gastrosexual' (ugh) is just wrong on so many levels.


  1. Anonymous09:01

    you know what? I find men who cook well really sexy. I dunno why. I haven't even met any guy like that. Whenever I think of the words "sexy guy", I picture a topless hunk in kitchen with a stuble and specs.

    Is that weird?

  2. *As for now, lets just put it this way—cooking to me is what a good hairstyle to Himesh Reshammiya is.*

    Ohh fuck!!! Man you can write!!!!

    Gastrosexual!! :D

    Get outta here!!

    I love your sense of humour! :D I just saw the Hillary Clinton comment thingy!! I'm still laughing! :D

  3. Try making easy things like spaghetti or making a pizza on a tortilla crust. If not, there's always the aloo. The easiest dish to make is a simple potato curry with onions. Boil the potatoes and fry them with diced onions and you're done. That's how I started cooking back in freshman year of college.

  4. u rock with all the MONKish terms lol!


    I so luv that term!

    so u cant cook...so wut..cos u can bloody write! :)


  5. You know what I'd like? Someone who could get all the ingredients ready for me, and all I had to do was add the right amount (because my middle name is Finesse) and stir/fry/stir fry/boil/steam/bake the random mixture and come up with brilliance.

    Yes, that would kind of be nice.

  6. freya { not really. whenever I think of the words "sexy girl", I picture a topless babe with 7 mobile phones in my neighbour's basement playing GTA 4. and I am told that is very weird }

    anindita { well, I try. thank you! }

    gearbox { I'm already a longtime follower of The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster; and the pizza deity.
    and potato curry beats anything hands down }

    keshi { "so u cant cook...so wut..cos u can bloody write!"
    that went up on the fridge door 4 minutes ago, font size 72 }

    le finesse {
    click here to add tomatoes. or fried eggs.

    and here to write more haiku

    a virtual equivalent, if I may }

  7. r ya serious? lol good on ya!

    Keep cooking up some great writing ;-)


  8. WOW!!

    I am completely in love with the way you write!

  9. Man....!!!!!!! Phunny...!!!! Real funny... Gastrosexual...!! Gives a (w)hole new meaning to the (f)art of looking good..!!! !

    I love the way you write..

    And why 7 phones..??? (Read a lot of Harry Potter or what...?

    Can I blogroll you..??

  10. Lol!
    Hey, dude.. the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach too... Didn't you hear the news flash?


  11. skeetereeta { isn't it just }

    lemonade { that's an honour. thank you, thank you! }

    suspensiani {
    thanks! heh (w)hole new meaning indeed..
    hairy who? nah 7s just a random requirement
    sure, why ask? we likes publyseatea! }

    macadamia { yeah after a round of wild shopping spree,
    you mean }

  12. *As for now, lets just put it this way—cooking to me is what a good hairstyle to Himesh Reshammiya is.*


    gastrosexual!!! ugh indeed!!

  13. btw! you are blogrolled! and i replied to your comment on my 'jai hanuman' post